Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I’m Terribly Sorry: Part Three



            A cold choir of moans echoed across the hills. Figures staggered through the dim streams of moonlight, which cut through the darkness of the forest. Their eyes white jewels encased in rotten settings of dead flesh, staring past their wanting outstretched hands.  
            “Hump, Hump, what is the awful racquet? Are the feral cats fighting over the trash heap again? Hump!?” Dark Francis called out, but it was met with no response from his faithful man Hump. “Hump! Where are you?”
            There was still no answer except for the faint sound of nails being raked across wood. Francis looked out into his dim quarters illuminated only by the dying embers of his fire.
            Dark Francis decided to investigate and slipped from his fur covered bed and donned a robe over his cream-colored nightshirt. He lit a small candle and grabbed a small sack coughing dust, which he deposited in his robe pocket. He listened carefully at the noise and began to follow it back to its origin through the dark halls of his keep.
            “Hump is that you? Hump where are you?” Dark Francis called into the darkness as he walked, but there was still no reply.
            The noise led him to the commoner’s entrance where he heard only the erratic scratching.
            “Damn cats,” Dark Francis muttered to himself. “I’ll show them who they just woke up.”
            Dark Francis flung the door open to find a stocky little calico cat sitting patiently among a forest of legs. Dark Francis’s gaze followed them up slowly to see the pale, cold faces of a group of villagers. The cat dashed instantly between Dark Francis’s legs.
            “What are all of you doing outside my keep?” Dark Francis demanded.
            The horde reached out their hands simultaneously to grasp at Dark Francis.
            “I said be gone!” Dark Francis shouted as he unloaded the pouch of coughing powder into the faces of the horde.
            The mass stopped for a brief second as if confused by the mist in the air and then lunged again. Dark Francis fell to the floor kicking out violently crawling back across the floor and then he was up again in full run in escape of the horde that rushed inside the hall like a crashing wave. Evil grasping hands and gnashing green teeth were only feet behind him and closing each precious inch with each passing moment.
            “Hump! Hump! Come save me! The villagers are revolting! They’re trying to kill me!”
            The shuffling mass followed Dark Francis into one of the old meeting halls filled with benches and tables, the place where his father used to have his war councils. He tripped over a protruding bench sending him into a row of stools. He tried to extricate himself from the jumbled mess, but they were already on top of him. An old woman opened her mouth as if to yell something at him. This is it, Dark Francis thought, and then the top half of her head disappeared as if it had been ushered out of existence with a waved hand. Then the next to closest fell the same way.
            Hump had charged in on the villagers axe in hand. His first swing took off the top off an old woman’s head. The next took two men through the neck at the same time, their heads made a dull thud as they hit the stone floor. The last three he dispatched in quick succession, each across the chest and arms, his axe cut a clean path through flesh and bone with no more effort than if he were skimming the blade through water.
            “Are you alright Sir?” Hump said. Hump took up position in front of the door and dispatched the villagers as they staggered in like he was some immovable killing machine. It was if the villagers were walking into the jaws of a meat grinder.
            “Where the hell were you?”
            “In the privy Sir,” Hump said crushing a villager’s skull like a rotten walnut with the broadside of his axe.
            “I told you they would come for me sooner or later, the filthy ignorant things.”
            “Right as usual Sir,” Hump said as he took off the head of teen boy who stepped through the door.
            “What barbarians! They even sent their children after me,” Dark Francis commented.
            “Truly depraved individuals,” Hump said splitting a villager like a piece of kindling.
            After what seemed like an eternity, the shambling horde was put down. All that was left were the dismembered parts that littered the hall.
            “Well if it’s a fight they want than it’s a fight they’ll get. These stupid villagers can’t get rid of me so easily. Hump prepare my war horse. We’re going to teach these filthy villagers a lesson,” Dark Francis said, as the morning sun broke the horizon.
To be continued…

Friday, January 18, 2013

I’m Terribly Sorry: Part Two



            “This one smells terrible Hump,” Dark Francis said, covering his nose with his robe sleeve to block out the smell emanating from the disheveled soul that Hump had just dragged into his sanctuary.
            “It’s not my fault you killed the last one,” Hump retorted.
            “It was an accident.”
            “Well it’s not so easy to just grab someone else in the middle of the night. Everyone’s gone home.”
            “Let go of me! Let go of me! I demand that you unhand me!” cried the man.
            “Calm yourself stranger. Hump was only kidding. I have a proposition for you,” Dark Francis said.
            “What kind of proposition?” the man asked.
            “I’ll give you a gold coin to drink what’s in this vial,” Dark Francis said bringing a clear glass vial into view, which contained a semi-translucent purple liquid.
            “What is it?” said the man eying it suspiciously.
            “It’s a new health elixir I’ve been working on,” Dark Francis said. “It will make you strong and healthy.”
            “Well if it won’t hurt me,” said the man taking the vial.
            The man drank the contents in one choking gulp.
            The three of them waited a minute, but there seemed to be no immediate affects.
            “How do you feel?” asked Dark Francis.
            “A little sick to tell you the truth sir,” the man said.
            “Very well here’s a few coppers,” Dark Francis said.
            “Hey! Now wait just a damn minute! You said a gold coin,” the man said, his nostrils flaring and his face turning bright red.
            “Oh did I? I sometimes exaggerate, but if you don’t like my generous offer you can always negotiate with Hump here. But he isn’t as unstinting as I am.”
            The man took one look at Hump and accepted the coppers gratefully.
            The man left the keep clutching his stomach to try to ward of the invisible knives that pierced him with each shaky step. His body lost energy with each passing moment until finally he crawled his way into the light of the village inn’s doorway before passing out completely.
            The Innkeeper finally stumbled upon the man in the pale light of the morning when he went to clean the litter and refuse from his doorstep.
            “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”
            The collapsed man’s pale milky eyes caught the orange blaze of the morning as his teeth closed around the Innkeeper’s neck, cutting off the faint beginnings of a scream.
            Back at the Tower Keep, Dark Francis paced around his inner sanctum contemplating how he had gone wrong.
            “I was sure that formula was perfect Hump. There should have at least been some sort of reaction. We’ll just have to continue our work after a little rest.”
           

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I’m Terribly Sorry: Part One



                “I’m sure you’re wondering why I have you chained to a chair in my keep. You may be wondering why I had my trusty man Hump here crack you over the head as you left the inn and bring you here. I assure you I am not here to harm you. I am going to make you an offer that is so crazy that you would not listen to me if I did not have you chained to a chair.”
                “I don’t know about that. I usually try to keep an open mind about things,” said the traveler.
                “Trust me you wouldn’t believe this,” Dark Francis coolly replied.
                “And what’s that?”
                “Eternal life.”
                “Not possible,” said the traveler rolling his eyes.
                “But it is true. I’ve studied all the texts of the great minds of Ramora. They had the secret, but their civilization was destroyed and the secrets of their texts lost to the ages, until now. I’ve translated the texts and uncovered the secret of eternal life.”
                “Preposterous.”
                “This is my offer. You can say yes and drink this potion,” Dark Francis said removing a small green vial he held concealed in his cloak. “Or, you can say no thank you and we’ll send you on your way with a few coins in your pocket for your troubles.”
                “No thank you then,” said the traveler.
                “Think of it eternal life just as you are, walking the world for thousands of years, amassing the knowledge of generations. You would be like a god.”
                “I’m still saying no. Now let me go and give me the money you promised.”
                “Are you sure?”
                “Yes, I am sure.”
                “Hump.”
                “Yes, sir.”
                “Open his mouth.”
                Hump grabbed the poor traveler’s face forcing his mouth open, while Dark Francis poured the contents of the vial down his throat.
                “You should feel the effects momentarily,” Dark Francis said taking a step back.
                Hump released the traveler, who coughed loudly and then started to convulse. They watched him shake violently in his restraints for a minute and then the man went limp.
                “How do you feel?” Dark Francis asked, but there was no reply. Dark Francis approached the man and shook him gently, but the man could not be woken. “That’s strange I was sure I had everything correct in the recipe.”
                As he spoke, he more closely examined the vial in his hand.
                “Silly me this is the poison I was looking for earlier. You know it’s never where you expect it. Hump could you do me a favor and bring me someone else to test the potion on.”
                Hump sighed loudly and began his trip to the village.